The Retreat by Benjamin Compson

Author:Benjamin Compson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Thriller
Publisher: The Book Guild
Published: 2023-12-05T00:00:00+00:00

Twenty-Three

Everyone was deeply engrossed in meditation as we crept back into the tent. The Teacher also seemed to be deep in meditation; I hoped he wouldn’t notice us.

As I sat back on my cushion, thoughts whirred around in my head.

I clearly needed to find out a lot more about the organisation and what I was dealing with, but I also didn’t know who to trust. I took a risk by telling Thomas, hoping that he would believe me, but it seemed to have backfired. His look almost told me what Lucile had said earlier, that perhaps it’s part of my anxiety condition, that I’m overreacting. Just as well he didn’t say that; I might not have been so mindful and turned around and punched him! That would be one way of getting ‘removed’. I was shocked at finding myself even thinking of that word. This wasn’t meant to be a school or an institution you could be expelled or removed from. This was meant to be a free, open, accepting meditation retreat that anyone could attend. So why did it feel like it wasn’t?

“Trust your instincts!” an old friend used to say. Well, my instincts were telling me that something was way off. How much of that was real and how much of it was ‘part of my condition’ I was starting to doubt.

Oh God, don’t let me go mad here, please!

I looked up towards the Teacher; his semi-opened eyes seemed to quickly dart away on meeting mine, as if he had been watching me. There was something oddly sly and reptilian about the way they had seemed to take information in before they quickly darted away. Now his gaze was firmly focused in front of him on seemingly nothing. His posture was now so still, it was reminiscent of those performance artists outside museums who pretend to be statues. Was he even breathing? I went back to gazing forward with a neutral stare before he could look back at me. So, now what?

After a while, the gong rang, and the Teacher’s booming voice croaked into action again. “Now! ” After a long pause to ensure the audience was suitably rapt, he continued, “Following our meditation today, I now want you to put your thoughts into practice. Put your meditation into action. In our community, we believe that meditation itself is only one half of the equation. The other part is action. Without action, then all of this is just academic. But it is not !” He said this last part with such force and authority, I once again detected a shiver in the room.

“Practice is just as important, if not more important, than the meditation itself. The word karma itself means action. So, to generate positive karma, we need to act on our intentions. Some of you may have heard the saying, ‘The road to Hell is paved with good intentions’. You see, intentions are good, but without action, they are like sunlight without rain. A plant cannot grow only with sunlight or only with rain.

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